Having trouble sleeping tonight. Feels like I’m waiting for the bottom to fall out and the storm to hit hard. Forecast has been told for a while now. There’s no way to prepare.
there is nothing better than coming to my childhood home and being able to relax.
i feel like myself at my home with my husband and my dog, but there is a completely different kind of relaxation when I get to come back to my parents house and just feel like a high school/college kid again. every problem in the world is wiped away. there is nothing that I cannot handle.
even with my dad being sick and us having a timeline for him, it is still a lot easier to manage when i’m at home in my old bedroom.
Today this week has just been one of those weeks. I’m tired. I’m emotional. I’m stressed out. I get irritated easily and I can feel it. I try to just keep my mouth shut so I don’t say anything I’ll regret. I don’t think it’s working very well.
I’m really struggling with my Dad’s cancer. I’ve tried dealing with it emotionally, but please! Let’s be honest. No one knows the healthy way to deal with this stuff. ”Just let the feelings happen”… “do something that makes you happy”… “just focus on the time you have left”… it’s all cliche and unhelpful.
I love my Dad. Nothing you can say will help me feel better about the fact that he will be gone by summer. It’s exhausting, terrifying, it breaks my heart. I cannot imagine my life without my father.
There is no good way to deal with this. someone suggested i blog about it since I enjoy my tumblr so much. I’m not sure if this is the right kind of post for my blog, but maybe my blog should change to just… life with sarah for a few months. is that a healthy way to deal? write about it?